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Feeling my inner Jordan.....

Michael Jordan that is.  Well......not quite, but as close to it as I can get.  I LOVE BASKETBALL.  Popped into the gym today to watch my sister's Jr. High team.  I really enjoy that group of girls.  I feel partial to them in basketball cause I had them from 3rd-6th grade.  I was sad when they went to Jr. High.  They are going to rock it this year!  It makes me excited to start elementary bball next week.

My high school girls are always asking why I don't coach high school basketball.  It's hard to explain to them that I love it too much and the pressure would kill me.  I mean, if you've ever been to a game you've seen me
 1.  get so excited I have to hide around the corner
 2.  get so mad at the refs I have to hide around the corner so I don't get ejected from the game
        (I'm halfway scared of me as a parent of eventual basketball players)

I blame my love of the game on Coach Petersen.  He had me in the gym from about 2nd grade on.  He convinced me…

I don't like to brag.........

especially about my husband.  :)  But.....he's lost 5 lbs in 6 days!!  While I hate that men lose so much faster than we women folk, I am happy that he's been so serious about it.  I myself am down 1.5 lbs and hoping for 2 by tomorrow.  That will put me on track for 4 by Vegas.  Wade thinks he'll be at 10 by Vegas.  Bastard!! 



I'm decluttering my house today in preparation for the Christmas season.  I randomly just throw away shit that hasn't been used in awhile.  Sometimes I regret this, but mostly it's very freeing.  I prepped myself by watching hoarders earlier this morning.  Nothing gets one motivated to clean more than seeing dog shit and piles of crap filling someone's house. Yuck!  And the bonus is all the calories burnt deep cleaning. 

Crazy coyote!!!

So.....ever since I had surgery, I have terrible insomnia.  Ughhh.....I can't sleep longer than a couple hours and then I'm up for a couple of hours.  It's really annoying as shit cause I NEED my sleep.  I'm not talking sleep all day kind of thing.  I'm talking my normal 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.  That's all I ask. 

Well, I was up at 1:00 this morning so I thought I might as well head downstairs and watch some tv.  Turned on the tube and in about 5 minutes the dogs were barking like crazy.  Then I heard a loud BANG!  I thought it was our Mammoth Jack Mule "Hank" that randomly shows up in our yard and basically just has free rein of the place.  That afternoon he'd been on my porch by my kitchen.  I know, so very redneck.  But we love him.  As I was walking by the front door I noticed all 3 dogs had something cornered on the front porch.  I ran upstairs and woke Wade up.  :)  He loves me.

Went downstairs, found a flashlight and the dogs ran…
Describes me perfectly yesterday.  My kids were right on my ass all day claiming they were bored, or just plain trying to annoy me.  It was brutal.  I just wanted to watch the Husker game and shop online with some sort of quiet.  Minus the swear words being thrown at the tv occasionally.  I swear the Huskers are going to be responsible for sending me to an early grave.  Bastards!

So today we're meeting friends and taking the kids to a movie.  At least they'll have to be quiet for an hour and a half.  Or get kicked out of the theater.  In that case they can go to kiddie jail while I enjoy that time of silence.  :) 

In the meantime, they are going to clean up all their toys and do a little vacuuming for their mother.  Ahhhh.....sweet revenge. 

On the diet front.  Things are going as planned.  I didn't gain anything over Thanksgiving.  The wonderful thing about 2 shakes a day!!  I'm right on track for losing those 4 lbs by the time Vegas rolls around.  As for Wade, he…

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Let the holiday madness begin!  Today I am thankful for too many things to name.  Here is a short list of things that I could not live without.

1.  My family.  Immediate, extended, honorary.  I love them all and I couldn't get through a day without them.  The boys bring joy (and the occasional need to drink at 9:00 in the morning) to each and every day.  Wade makes me laugh even after 10 years of marriage.  

2.  My home.  I love it here where I don't have neighbors watching everything I do.  Where the boys can go outside and play with no fear of something happening to them.  (Minus the occasional mishap).  :) 

3.  My animals.  My sanity is much better now that I've been riding more since the boys are getting older.  I love my horses. 

4.  My volleyball girls.  Although they drive me nuts at times :), I enjoy that time more than anyone could know.  

5.  My Vi family.  I've made friendships through Visalus that I never would have without it. 

6.  My iPhone and my kind…

90 Days and Counting....

Ok, here's the dealio.......Wade and I have been married for almost 10 years and we've completely let ourselves go. 

Not completely true.  But let's face it, we're not getting any younger!  We both have been walking around eating telling each other how we'd love to lose a few pounds.  Well, talk is cheap, and it's time to act on it! 

Wade has agreed to be my bitch partner in crime for the next 90 days.  We are going to work our asses off (hopefully literally) to get in shape , get healthy, and love ourselves again.  Although how could you not love that bearded face.  Bleck........

No surprise we'll be using the Body by Vi shake mix, hunger control, metaboboosters, etc. to accomplish this.  Why you ask????  BECAUSE IT WORKS!!!!  We drink the shakes every single day and have for months now.  We love the nutrition that is in each one and the amazing way it makes us both feel.  The energy is amazing!  Some say it's another fad to get people to think they c…

LOSER!!!

And I don't mean that in a good way......
I have 3 freakin Twitter followers.  Really??  I mean, I realize I signed up for that account 2 months ago and have only posted twice, but come on!!!  I am freakin funny.....Well, pry not....but maybe more than 3 followers funny.  Crap...now I have to find a way to be witty and get some damn friends on there.  The problem....I have no idea what the hell you're supposed to write on Twitter.  And how the heck you're supposed to @ people or whatever that is.  Now I'm going to have to Google being a better tweeter.  Cause isn't that what they are called.  Tweets?? 

Anyway....
Day 2 of my 99 day training.  That just sounds depressing....
3 mile run yesterday and nothing so far today.
Well, I can't say nothing.  I got up this morning, saddled 3 horses, helped the kids practice for their Jr. Rodeo and rode my barrel horse.  Better get my ass on the dreadmill tonight or get up at the butt crack of dawn to run before it gets to…

99 days and counting.....

Just registered for my second 1/2 marathon!  Not gonna lie, the last one almost killed me.  Literally.  I'm being positive about the second one though since it's closer to my neck of the woods and hopefully the humidity won't be stiffling like it was in Lincoln.  This one is also out in the country.  Much more my speed.  Cause while I love visiting Lincoln and being there for Husker games and all that excitement, I was less than impressed with the scenery for the 1/2 there.  And way too many people.  I'm hoping this one is alot smaller.  Either way, it's redemption time.  I just can't be satisfied with my performance the first time around.  I'm going to kick this one's ass.  Or at least not let it kick mine!  :)  And I solemnly swear to remember that it would be a smart choice to carry my inhaler along. 

Although I know most won't really give a shit how I'm doing with my training, I'm going to let you come along with me for the next 99 days…

Horrible Blogger!!!

Slacker..........Not really, but I'm sure that's what some are thinking!  I realized that I haven't blogged since the Lincoln 1/2.  I realize that I very nearly died in that experience.  :)  But no excuse for neglecting my fans.  All 5 of you.  So, here's a little recap of what has been happening in this Runaway Ranchwife's life!

T-ball started.  The kids had their first games last night and they were amazing.  And if you ask them, they won.  They kicked that other team right in the ass.  (Even though they do not keep score and no one gets out.)  They don't need to know that though.  They are certain the major leagues will be calling them today!

We had the most amazing week branding.

I usually bail about the 3rd night of camping and claim that mom the kids are tired and need a night in their own beds.  Not so much this year.  I loved camping and spending time with the boys and everyone else that works here.  It was pry the most relaxing "vacation" I&#…

We did it!!!!

Finisher.......Although that was my goal for this whole day I never really thought it would mean as much as it does.  I would love to say that my first half marathon was the greatest day ever and it was wonderful and all that other crap.  But it wasn't.  It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.  No joking.  I was prepared for running 13.1 miles.  I ate everything I was told to and drank more water than I thought possible the week before the race.  I was prepared for the race atmosphere and not starting out too fast.  The first 4-5 miles were the best I've ever felt on a long run.  I was rocking it.  And then I wasn't........  What I wasn't prepared for was the 89% humidity and high 60 degree weather that turned into 70 degree weather at just the wrong time.  I was also a complete jackass and didn't remember that when one is in Lincoln they may want to consider taking an inhaler along for those "just in case" runs that may not go as planned.…

And the award goes toooo................

ME!!! I did it. I finally feel like maybe I could win that Mother Of The Year award.  You know, the one I have failed miserably at for 8 years so far.  I'm really feeling like the last 2 days have earned me that title.  I'm sure I'll do something to f%@& that up soon enough, but for now I'm celebrating my ass off.  I painted Knight's room like I promised him and I do have to say.  It's freakin awesome.  I really love it so much I contemplated painting the whole damn thing camo.  I mean really.  What else do I have to do with my days.  Right??  Wrong!!  It's pretty bad ass though. 

If Knight doesn't like it then I'm going to sleep here.  :)  I love it.  I got the tank for the wall.  Thought it was going to be bigger but it works. 



The helicopter for his ceiling should be here soon!  I had a ton of fun doing this project.  And if he doesn't like it, I'm selling him.  :)

Night terrors.......:(

Our oldest child has ALWAYS been terrified of the dark.  Ever since he was a baby and we'd walk out of a building at night and he'd cry till we got to the car and could turn on a light.  :(  I thought maybe we were getting out of that stage but lately it's getting worse.  To the point where last summer he decided he and his little brother should get bunk beds and share a room.  That's when I knew it was bad.  Who the hell wants to share a room with the red headed devil!!  Lately, Kohl has been falling asleep either in the chair before bed or immediately when his head hits the pillow.  For some reason, this freaks Knight out.  He wants to be the first to fall asleep. 

This week has been particularly bad with the night/dark terrors.  I've tried everything short of sleeping meds to try and get him to sleep soundly.  I feel terrible for him.  He decided last night he should try sleeping in his old room.  It worked for a few hours but this morning he was on our floor s…

Two WHOLE days!!!!.........

My kids were angels.  Well.....except for the occasional "butt" comments from Kohl.  We left on Friday morning for Knight's checkup in Denver.  First we had to stop in OG at the chiro so I could get adjusted.  Before we went in I gave the kids the what for in the car about sitting there quietly while I got worked on.  I mean let's face it.  If you know the little red head you all know that when he gets around anyone besides Wade and I he completely loses it.  He shows off.  And that's usually in the form of saying things that he probably shouldn't.  And completely embarassing me.  :)  He was great though which made me wonder what the hell he was trying to get me to do for him. 

Next stop.  Denver.  Again, we went to Knight's hour long appt. and neither of them whined or complained that we weren't done yet.  Knight let them take his blood like a trooper and we were on our way.  I was doing a happy dance because his seizures are under control now and h…

Hello??!!!........Anyone there??!!!

I'm BACK!!!  At least for a day anyway.  :)  It's raining out today.  THANK YOU GOD!!  People keep asking me where the hell I've been and why haven't I been blogging or answering my phone during the day.  I'll tell ya why.  Until I get a phone in my yard, down in the barn, or anywhere outside for that matter, you're not going to be able to reach me during the day.  I absolutely love this time of year.  It's been so nice here I haven't been able to make myself stay inside for very long.  Flower beds are cleaned out and stuff is growing already!  Mowed my yard yesterday to get all the yuck off of it, turned on the underground sprinklers (which are leaking in the control box so have to get that fixed), and put down some grass seed just in time for the rain today. 

I'll tell ya how much I love being outside this time of year.  Last weekend I knew I wanted to ride and do yardwork on Saturday.  I freaking hate the treadmill.  But, I knew if I wanted to g…

My week in a nutshell..........

And nutty it was!!  My week started off with a bang.  Wade's head banging on the ground that is.  Monday I'm on the dreadmill and Kohl comes up and says Wade needs me downstairs.  I'm instantly pissed cause I know that once I get off that thing I'll never want to get back on.   I haul my ass downstairs cussing as I go and ask what the hell he wants......  Then I feel somewhat bad because he's sitting in the chair with blood on his face cause he's had a horse fall down with him.  Ooops......  I can instantly tell that he's broken his nose.  No one else will be able to tell, but I can.  I ask him if he wants to go to the doctor cause he's also hurt his wrist and to me it looks broken.  Of course he doesn't want to go to the Dr..  Only wimps go to the doctor.  I head back up to the dreadmill cause I'm annoyed that he won't go to the Dr..  Thirty minutes later here he comes and says he thinks he should go to the clinic.  REALLY????  NO SHIT!!  I…

Red headed devil......

I swear I love this kid.  I'm not even lying.  But sometimes he's so much like his father that I want to ban them both from the house for a week.  He was EXTRA obnoxious sweet this weekend.  I swear he had too much sugar or something of the sort.  He never shut up once from Friday morning till last night when he finally went to bed.

That's so true.  We really should have considered this when we decided to have children.  Our two could not be more different.  The blazing red head is just like his dad and his brother is just like me.  Loud and obnoxious (Kohl), sweet and quiet (Knight).  :)  LOVE THEM!!!  (I have to say this over and over to myself when the devil child is pulling his pants down when I enter the room and telling me to look at his buttcrack.)

On another note, I ran 7 miles on Saturday!!  Whoop whoop!!  This weekend is 8 miles.  I am no longer fearful.  Bring it on!!

Insanity.......

This morning I did a little Insanity cardio/plyo circuit dvd.  Holy shit balls.  I always forget how hard those workouts are.  It was AWESOME though!!  I'm trying to eat really good and exercise like it's a last chance workout before I weigh in tomorrow morning.  I must have looked just like this while doing it:



I'm actually certain I did not look just like this. 

I don't care how I looked.  That Insanity crap is no joke.  I should do that more often.  Now I'm gonna try and drag my ragged ass up to the treadmill for 3 miles before we go cheer on the boys in their Sub-District bball game!  Go Wolves!!!

And speaking of insane.  HOLY WIND!!!  Does anyone else just get pissed off looking out the window at it?  I don't even have to step outside and it makes me angry.  Especially on a day when the sun is shining and it's warm out and you would love to just be outside all day.  Well, you can go outside.  You may end up getting blown 3 miles to the neighbors house…

Throwing it out the window!!!

This last week has been hell on the scale for me.  It's annoying as shit.  I ran 15 miles this week, did an Insanity workout, and yoga.  And still no drop.  Really!!???  LIAR!!!!  :)  I wish it was lying.  Do you ever get the feeling that you should replace the scale that you just bought because you were certain the last one must have been broken cause there was no way in hell you really weighed that much??  I've done that before.  Really, who hasn't.  And if you say you haven't you're either lying, or lying. 

Obviously my kick ass way of eating isn't so kick ass right now.


  So, you're hearing it now.  I'm counting points again and I am going to have Wade hide the scale when he gets back today.  Seriously.  I've become crazy slightly obsessed with weighing myself.  Which makes me grouchy, which then makes me eat crap and it's just a vicious cycle.  I will weigh in ONCE a week and not 14 times a week like I normally do.  It will drive me insan…

Random Ramblings....

Whewww..............This week has been packed full of crap to do and I feel like none of it has gotten accomplished.  Monday was tax work which is almost done and I'm thankful for that.

 Tuesday I went to the big "city".  We're 100 miles from the closest Walmart. Which to some would be horrific but for us it's a blessing.  I took one kid to school and the other to daycare for their Valentine's party.  I was making an entire day of it because that evening the high school had a District bball game close by.  NEVER leave me unattended in the "city" without proper supervision!!  Especially after a weekend of finding fabulous organization ideas on Pinterest.  Ughhh.....that website is bad news for someone that has felt like they have way too much crap in the house or they just need a way to organize that crap.  Needless to say, I have ALOT of projects I can do for the next few weeks.  One will involve numerous pics of my kids that will result in them not…

Name's Kramer.....Not Crocker!!!

99.999999% of my time (when I'm home) is spent here:

  Unfortunately the kitchen.  Not an indoor pool that my husband refuses is considering building me.  :)  Bastard. 

I don't mind cooking.  Fortunately I come from a family that sat down to a meal at least twice a day every day while growing up.  My mom and grandma are excellent cooks so my sisters and I learned how to cook from them.  In fact, every time anyone walks into my grandma's house she's trying to shove food at them.  Maybe that would explain my "athletic/husky" build as a child.  :) 

One of the downfalls privileges of marrying a rancher is that you have get to cook for all the hired men.  I have 4 guys here every day for lunch.  Most days I don't mind it.  Others I would rather stab my eyes out with a fork than find something to make them.  I used to try and please all of their likes/dislikes but now I don't give a fuck.  Granted I don't try and poison them.  But if they don't lik…

Bragging rights!!??

Yep.  I think I deserve at least a partial second of bragging.  I RAN 6 MILES!!!  Without stopping, falling, hurting myself, or puking afterwards.  I met up with Jamie and Tara yesterday for our "long" run of the week.  Not gonna lie, I was slightly nervous to run with a group.  How the hell was I going to stop and pretend to be dying or exhausted when there were other people there.  I'm competitive as hell so I knew that no matter what I would not be stopping along the way.  Even if it killed me.  Which it didn't.  There was no stopping. 

In fact, it was the BEST run ever and I loved it!  We chatted for the first 2 miles and then settled in for the rest.  We turned on the ipods and just cruised along at a wonderful pace.  We did somewhat of a "lap" approach.  Two miles before each turnaround which really was awesome.  When we got to the last "lap" I was feeling great and couldn't believe it had went that fast.  When we got to the last mile w…

Planking!!

Thought I should clarify that!!  I'm bored.  Yeah, we got snow.  Not enough for sledding or snowman making or anything fun like that.  So......I'm bored.  I did a series of random exercises this morning and found myself doing a plank quite a few times.  So, I said...."self, why not randomly plank throughout the day?"  Especially when I'm tempted to snack or browse buy everything on every website I look at!  Needless to say, I might as well stay in plank position the entire day so i don't gain 10 lbs and empty my wallet!!  The kids think are sure I've lost my mind when they come in the kitchen for a snack and I'm on the floor.  Wade will tell me I'm stupid when I suggest he do this with me all day long.  :)

Feel free to join me.  I'll let ya know how many sets of these I do throughout the day.  If my arms aren't too tired for me to type tomorrow.  :)

Are u smarter than a 5th grader???

Possibly.......but I'm not making any promises!! I've been subbing for the last two days for grades 5-6. They have been wonderful!! Much easier than the kindergarten class and more busy work for me than the high school. I really enjoyed it and yet gained much respect for our small town teachers. Responsible for squeezing in numerous subjects in a short day. Truthfully ......if I didn't know the answer I just made up a bunch of bullshit and they believed me. Or at least I think they did. Ha ha.
It also gave me a chance to remember how much I absolutely loved school when I was a kid. Yes I was a geek when I was a kid. Disguised as a tomboy/jock. I never had to study which didn't help me when I got to college cause I really didn't know how to study. Sad. I know.
This was a great break from the monotony that has been my life for the past few weeks. All I have done is get stuff ready to send to the accountant for the two corporations that rule my life. And again...…

If 7 year olds ruled the world.......

I got so much annoying unsolicited advice from my 7 year old this weekend that I thought I should share this knowledge with the world. 

Sunday I was scheduled for a long run for the 1/2 marathon training.  I had been looking forward to it all week.  Really, I'm not joking.  I was looking forward to running 5-6 miles.  Until I looked outside Sunday morning and saw the windmill turning like crazy.  That damn windmill has become the deciding factor on how my day will go.  Spinning like crazy = grouchy running bitch.  No turning = happy running princess. 

After lunch I paced back and forth looking out the window a million times in hopes that the wind had miraculously died down.  No luck.  That f'ing thing kept getting faster and faster.  I asked Wade a million times what his suggestion would be.  He really didn't care.  Suggested running the next day.  But that throws off my whole schedule and I HATE that.  I also hate seeing all those bitches friends on daily mile logging t…

California or bust???

.    I've been dreaming of the beach for weeks now.  Warm, sunny days and relaxing by the pool.  Don't get me wrong, this winter has been extremely mild and I would never complain about that.  I just REALLY loved our visit to California a couple years ago.  And that's saying alot because we had 3 kids with us and mine whined.  ALOT.  And so did my sisters.  (just seeing if you were paying attention)  It was still enjoyable.  I want to go back there sometime soon.  My mother-in-law wants us to come back this spring but I think we'll wait till next year.  Not that I'm not dreaming of this:

  How cool would that be??!!! 

Except I would look more like this:

  Who doesn't love a good floatation device?!

For now I will just dream of warm, sunny beaches and pin my "dream" vacation spots.  Wade's dream vacation spot looks more like this:



I prefer motorized vehicles and drinks with umbrellas.  :) 

The Great Divide...

And I'm not talking about plumber's crack!! 



I ventured out for a run this morning after dropping off the boys.  When I looked out the window, the windmill was barely turning by the meadow so I assumed that was a good sign.  It tricked me.  I realized at the corner that I would be running mile 2 into the wind.  Damn the luck!!  At 1.5 I met Shane on the road and he held up his gator to see if I needed it.  He must have felt sorry for me.  I wasn't cold at that point though so I waved him on.  At the turn around I realized I'd be into the wind for at least a mile.  But I kicked that miles ass.  And pry a little more cause I'm pretty sure at one point the wind was actually pushing me backwards. 

  NOT so much like this guy, but you get the point......

Why The Great Divide????
I forgot how much I love that band!!!  I listened to quite the playlist this morning.  Everything from Waylon to Lady Gaga.  And ended up on the last 1/2 mile listening to The Great Divide.  Lo…

Some Tuesday humor.....

You all know I have a new obsession with Pinterest.  I have found some really great recipes, decorating ideas, fitness motivations and great organization tips.  I have also found the funniest pics/sayings that I thought I would share with you.  :) 
Disclaimer:  There is cussing involved!!!!!!!



Enough said.

  I do this alot in Walmart.  :)  There's always that crazy person who you do everything in your power to avoid.  If you see me squatting down behind my cart next time you're in Walmart you'll know why.   Pretty sure I actually raced my cart from aisle to aisle once to avoid running into someone.  Don't judge me.  If you knew them you'd run too.



  Bahahahahahaha..............so true!!




And this one's especially for me.  I'm working real hard on that though.  :)


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Friend???.....or Foe???/

Dreadmill/hate your f'ing guts/just get it the hell over with/that wasn't so bad..........

That's how I felt while doing my long run today on the treadmill.  Normally, I would NEVER do over 3 miles on that stupid thing.  Today, I was scheduled for 5 miles.  At 3.5 I really wanted to just say screw it and quit.  Then, I decided that wasn't such a great idea.  Especially when I'm normally psycho lady semi competitive.  I would have been mad at myself for not getting that long run in this week, especially after last week's non-running foot incident.  The good news is, I got it done and had I been outside I might have actually been inclined to run further.  And...the bad news.....there is none.  Unless you count the 35mph winds and snow that didn't allow me to run outside.  Next week I should be running 6 miles.  That WILL be outside or I will hurt someone.  Probably myself if I'm forced to run on the treadmill that far. 

I should just be really thankful …

Blading........

And I don't mean roller baby!!!  My awesome bro-in-law called this morning to let me know he'll be trying to fix our road today with the big blade.  And to be careful if I'm driving down it.  Whoop Whooop!!!!!!   I've been bitching complaining about our road for 3 weeks now.  It's horrible.  The county does not maintain our road so it's up to us.  Or actually, I shouldn't say that.  They are nice enough to come out here every 3 years and make it a sand pit and leave.  :)  I know it's every three years because they were here last year and Kohl was amazed!!!  He had never seen that big road grader before.  And he's 5.  :) 

Kinda hard to miss something like this driving down your road.

Awww......can't wait to drive on a smoother road without cussing at every bump as I'm doing 60 25 on the way to school every morning.  It's the little things.  I knew that eventually Shane would break down and fix it for me because he has to drive on it every…

It's MY Party!!!!

Actually, I'm too old for parties so now I have to settle for the following:

Me telling my kids that it was my birthday this morning because Wade forgot.  And then reminding them that it's MY day and they should be extra good.

Me making Kohl and my nephew tell me Happy Birthday every time they needed something today.  And singing too.  :)

My mom calling me at lunch when Wade was in here which jarred his memory real quick like. 

I will continue the day with making my kids wait on me all evening.  Ahhhhhh....I love MY DAY.

I also treated myself to some new trail running shoes.  It's the right thing to do.

Strength Training!!!

This was my workout today.  All courtesy of pinterest posts I searched.  LOVE IT!!!

 X 2

  X 2

  X 2

And I'm spent.  Did each of those through 2 times.  I love strength training and circuits.  Someday, I will love running just as much.  :)

Foot feels great thanks to the chiro yesterday!!  I feel like I'm back on track and ready to go!