Monday, January 30, 2012

If 7 year olds ruled the world.......

I got so much annoying unsolicited advice from my 7 year old this weekend that I thought I should share this knowledge with the world. 

Sunday I was scheduled for a long run for the 1/2 marathon training.  I had been looking forward to it all week.  Really, I'm not joking.  I was looking forward to running 5-6 miles.  Until I looked outside Sunday morning and saw the windmill turning like crazy.  That damn windmill has become the deciding factor on how my day will go.  Spinning like crazy = grouchy running bitch.  No turning = happy running princess. 

After lunch I paced back and forth looking out the window a million times in hopes that the wind had miraculously died down.  No luck.  That f'ing thing kept getting faster and faster.  I asked Wade a million times what his suggestion would be.  He really didn't care.  Suggested running the next day.  But that throws off my whole schedule and I HATE that.  I also hate seeing all those bitches friends on daily mile logging their run for the day and making me feel like a giant pansy.  So I took off and told Wade to come get me in an hour so I didn't have to run back into the wind.  And I reminded both kids to NOT let dad forget to come pick me up.  :)

I would say EPIC fail on the run but I did get in 5.5 miles and for someone who couldn't run a mile 3 months ago I should feel pretty good about it.  Even though the wind at my back was not helping me to slow down the pace so my breathing was steadier.  By mile 4 I was exhausted and my path I decided on had me running through deep sand at that point on a trail road where there were bitchy momma cows wanting to protect their babies.  DUMBASS attack!!!  I got home and Knight told me how red my face was and asked me how it went.  I told him I couldn't catch my breath.  First words of wisdom.  "You should have waited till tomorrow when it's not going to be as windy."  NO SHIT!!  Second words of wisdom........"try not to breathe so hard and then you won't get as tired."  NO SHIT!!!

About 7:00 last night I got a massive headache.  The kind where I know I've eaten something that must have had some hidden gluten.   More words of wisdom..........".Mom you shouldn't have eaten something with gluten.  You know it makes you sick."  NO SHIT!!!

Finally this morning Knight had some "deep" words of wisdom.  You all know that he's super into the army right now.  Who are we kidding.  For three years now he's been super into the army.  He has been reading a book on the Civil War and so he's constantly asking us questions that we have no idea what the answers are so we make up random shit to please him.  This morning on the way to school this was the conversation:

Knight:  Mom, those guys from the south were pretty stupid.
Me:  Oh yeah, why do you say that.
Knight:  They should have hung up "help wanted" signs.
Me:  What??
Knight:  Yeah, if they needed someone to work for them they should have hung up signs instead of owning slaves.  That was really rude not to pay them for their work.  You can't "own" people.  Gosh they're dumb. 

If only adults thought like 7 year olds.  Simple but truthful.  :)

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